3 weeks, 31 adjusted

3 weeks old (31 weeks adjusted)



I'm happy to report a blessedly boring week for Marco! He continues to do well, holding steady and growing. He's up to 3 pounds - which is considered on the "bigger" side, unbelievably. The docs continue to adjust his breathing support, a little less, a little more, as needed day to day - but aside from that they never have any reports to share with me. I look forward to watching him grow and seeing that support slowly dwindle.

A nice thought - now that he's 3 pounds we're allowed to hold him swaddled if want to - like a typical newborn. I have no intention to do that any time soon - because I love skin-to-skin so much and think its the best way to build my bond with him, but it's nice to know we have the option. Makes it all feel a bit more like a normal birth experience.

A not so nice thought - two babies went home this week. I know, this is a joyful thing - but for me, it was tough watching other parents leave with their babies. Our "pod" neighbor left, which makes it feel so much more lonely in our little space, and a random stranger who happened to be checking in at the same time as me got to bring his baby girl home.  I know it will be our turn soon enough - but still. A tough moment.

The home life:

We continue to figure out our groove. This week I find myself much more comfortable with multitasking while pumping, which has helped things tremendously. I put a large shirt on and can hang out with the boys - watch TV with them, read books, play a card game, put a baby doll hat back on for the millionth time. It helps a lot to be able to spend time with them while I do something for Marco - brings them into the process and makes it feel less like Mama is pulling away. 

Now that I've returned to work, time is a bit more precious. I appreciate being challenged and using my brain again - helps make the time go quickly, which is exactly what I need to get me through the next 2+ months. That said - it feels as though I'm continuously "on" between pumping around the clock, work, taking care of the boys and visiting Marco - and I worry what might happen when I stop. Similar to when you are cramming for a big test or presentation and you're going hard - then when it's done you immediately get sick. To ease this "on" feeling I'm going to give myself a break and only pump every 5 hours at night - which cuts down my wake up times and gives my body a much needed respite. It won't help my production, but as of now I'm pumping more than he needs (yay) so maybe I can ease up a bit. Again I remind myself that my health and sanity is more important than being the sole milk provider for Marco. He'll be OK, so I need to make sure I'm OK.

3 weeks down, 9 to go!






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